Chapter 4: Sitting Well

Tonight's Lesson

Welcome back. Please take your seat, and before we begin, let your breath out slowly once or twice, the way we practised in our last lesson. You may remember how we first noticed the breath without changing it, then let the breath out become a little longer than the breath in, and how some of you counted softly, in for four and out for six. Tonight that breathing stays with us. It will be the quiet background to everything we do.

Our subject this evening is something you do for many hours every day without thinking about it: sitting. In this course the chair is our place of practice, so the way we sit on it matters a great deal. A seat that is balanced and supported lets the breath move freely into the belly and ribs. A seat that is slumped or stiff makes the breath shallow, tires the back and neck, and keeps a small part of the body busy even when we want to rest.

So tonight I would like to show you how to build a good seat step by step, from the feet up to the head. We will talk about the support that the chair back can give, and about simple things you can place on the seat, under the feet or behind the back. We will also talk about why a good posture is something we visit for a while and then leave, not something we hold all evening. In the practice you will find your own posture, rock gently to find its middle, tilt the head from side to side, and then rest against the chair back for the stillness.

Building a Seat from the Ground Up

Let us start with the word "posture". Posture simply means the way the body is arranged while we sit or stand. A helpful posture is not a fixed shape that everyone must copy. Bodies are different in height, in the length of the legs and in how easily they bend, and a good posture for one person looks a little different from a good posture for another. What we are looking for is a seat in which the bones carry the weight, so that the muscles can do as little as possible.

A good seat begins with the feet. Both feet rest flat on the floor, about as wide apart as your hips, with the toes pointing forward or slightly outward, whichever feels natural. When the feet are flat, the floor gives the body a steady base, and the legs no longer need to hold themselves up. If your feet do not reach the floor comfortably, the seat is too high for you, and we will solve that with a simple prop in a moment. If your knees are much higher than your hips, the seat is too low, and a firm cushion on the seat will help.

Next come the knees. In a balanced seat the knees are about over the ankles, so that the lower legs stand more or less upright, like the legs of a table. If the feet are pulled far back under the chair, or pushed far forward, the hips and the lower back have to work harder. The thighs rest roughly level, with the knees at about the same height as the hips or a little lower. You do not need to measure this. Look down once, notice where your knees are, and move your feet a little until the legs feel settled.

Now we come to the most important part of the seat: the sitting bones. At the bottom of the pelvis, the bowl of bone at the base of the trunk, there are two rounded bones, one on the left and one on the right. When you sit on a firm chair you can often feel them pressing into the seat. If you are not sure where they are, slide your hands under your buttocks, palms up, and rock slowly from side to side; you will feel two firm points. When the weight rests on the tops of these two bones, the pelvis stands upright and the spine can rise from it easily. When we slump, we roll back behind the sitting bones and the lower back rounds. When we sit very stiffly, we tip forward in front of them and the lower back arches. The middle is where we want to be.

From the pelvis the spine rises. The spine is a long column of small bones, stacked from the pelvis up to the skull, with gentle natural curves. A long spine does not mean a straight, rigid one. Imagine that the top of your head is being lifted very lightly toward the ceiling, as if by a soft thread, while the sitting bones stay heavy on the chair. The body becomes a little taller without effort. If you notice that you are pushing the chest forward, pulling the shoulders back hard or holding your breath, you have gone past "long" and into "stiff". Let go a little until breathing feels easy again.

At the top of the spine sits the head, which is heavier than most people imagine. When the head is balanced over the shoulders, the neck carries it with little effort. When the head drifts forward, as it often does when we look at screens, the muscles at the back of the neck and the top of the shoulders must hold it up all the time. So we let the chin come back a little, level and relaxed, with the eyes looking straight ahead or softly down. Finally, the shoulders: let them be soft and wide, resting down and away from the ears, with the arms hanging or the hands resting on the thighs. That is the whole seat, from the ground up.

Support, Props and Resting Often

A common question is whether we should use the back of the chair or sit away from it. The answer is that both are useful. Sitting a little forward on the seat, with the back free, lets you feel how your own spine rises from the sitting bones, and it gives you room to move. Leaning against the chair back lets the chair carry some of the work, which is very welcome at the end of a long day. In this course we usually sit forward when we move and lean back when we rest. Neither one is more correct than the other.

When you lean back, do it in a way that keeps the shape of the seat. Slide your hips back until they are close to the place where the seat meets the chair back, so that the lower back is supported rather than left hanging in the air. Then let the back of the body rest against the chair from the lower back upward. If the chair back is far behind you, or curves away from you, a rolled towel can fill the gap behind the lower back. Roll an ordinary bath towel into a soft tube, a little thicker than your wrist, and place it across the chair back at about the height of your waist. Lean into it gently. It should feel like support, not like something pushing you forward.

The other two props are just as simple. If your feet do not rest flat on the floor, place a folded blanket or a firm block under them. Fold the blanket into a thick, even pad that will not slip, and adjust its height until both feet rest flat with the knees about over the ankles. If the seat is low, so that your knees rise above your hips and your back rounds, sit on a firm cushion or a folded blanket. A cushion that is too soft lets the sitting bones sink and tilt, so choose something firm and flat. These small changes can turn an uncomfortable chair into a good one.

Now the part of tonight's lesson that surprises many beginners. A good posture is not meant to be held for a long time. Even a well-balanced seat becomes tiring if we keep it without moving, because the muscles that support us like small changes and short rests. So we sit well for a little while, for a few breaths or a few minutes, and then we let the body move, lean back or shift a little. Then we find the seat again. Returning to a good posture many times is far more helpful than holding one posture stiffly.

This matters for sleep in a quiet way. In the evening we want the body to understand that the work of the day is finished. A slumped seat often leaves the breath shallow and the neck tense, while a stiff, upright seat can feel like effort and keep us alert. A balanced seat sits between the two: steady enough that we do not need to hold ourselves up, soft enough that the breath can slow down. When you practise finding it each evening, the simple act of sitting down in your chair begins to mean "now I can rest".

The Thirty-Minute Practice

Before you begin, prepare your chair as we learned in the first lesson: sturdy, without wheels, on a floor that does not slip, ideally with its back against a wall. Keep tonight's props near you: a folded blanket, a firm cushion and a rolled towel. Wear comfortable clothes that do not press on the waist, dim the lights, and keep a glass of water nearby. As always, if you feel pain, dizziness or shortness of breath at any moment, stop, rest and breathe normally. Come out of every movement slowly.

Minutes 1 to 3: Arriving. Sit down on the chair in whatever way feels natural, and let your hands rest on your thighs. Do not arrange anything yet. Simply notice how you are sitting at the end of today. Perhaps you are leaning to one side, perhaps your back is rounded, perhaps your shoulders are high. There is nothing to correct for now. Let your eyes close, or rest them on the floor a little in front of you. Notice the feet on the floor, the weight on the seat and the breath moving in and out by itself.

Minutes 4 to 8: Breathing. Place one hand on your belly and the other on the side of your ribs, as in our last lesson. Breathe in through the nose and feel the belly and ribs widen a little under your hands; breathe out and feel them settle. After a few natural breaths, let each breath out become a little longer than the breath in. If counting helps you, breathe in for a count of four and out for a count of six, or use shorter counts such as three and five. If counting makes you tense, stop counting and simply breathe. Continue for about five minutes, letting the body grow a little quieter with each long breath out.

Minutes 9 to 20: Moving. We begin by building the seat. Let your hands rest on your thighs and open your eyes. First, the feet: place them flat on the floor, about as wide apart as your hips. Look down at your knees and move your feet forward or back until the knees are about over the ankles. If your feet do not reach the floor easily, place the folded blanket under them now. If your knees are higher than your hips, sit on the firm cushion. Take two slow breaths and feel the floor under the whole of each foot: the heels, the outer edges and the toes.

Now find the sitting bones. Slide a little forward on the seat so that your back is away from the chair back. Rock slowly from left to right, shifting the weight onto one sitting bone and then onto the other, three or four times, each movement small and easy. Then let the rocking become smaller and smaller until you come to rest in the middle, with the weight shared evenly. Next, rock very gently forward and back: roll back a little, so that the lower back rounds, then tip forward a little, so that the lower back arches, moving only a short way in each direction. Do this four or five times, slowly, with the breath. Then let the movement become smaller until you settle at the point where you sit on the tops of the sitting bones and the pelvis feels upright. This is your middle.

From this middle, let the spine grow long. Breathe in and imagine the top of your head lifting lightly toward the ceiling. Breathe out and let the shoulders soften down, without losing the length. Let the chin come back a little so that the head rests over the shoulders, with the eyes looking straight ahead. Then make a small shoulder roll, as we learned in the first lesson: lift the shoulders a little toward the ears, roll them back and let them drop, three slow times. Rest the hands on the thighs again and stay in this seat for three or four slow breaths. Then let the whole body slump a little on purpose, and notice how that feels. Then find the seat again, more easily this time.

Now the new movement for the neck: the ear-to-shoulder tilt. Sit in your balanced seat with the shoulders soft. Breathe in. As you breathe out, let your right ear move slowly toward your right shoulder, only as far as is comfortable. The shoulder does not rise to meet the ear; it stays down. Keep the face looking forward, not toward the floor or the ceiling. You may feel a gentle stretch along the left side of the neck. Stay there for three slow breaths, letting each long breath out soften that side. Then, on a breath in, bring the head slowly back to the middle and pause for one breath. Repeat on the other side, the left ear toward the left shoulder, for three breaths, and return slowly to the middle. Do the whole movement twice on each side. Never pull the head with your hand, and if the neck feels tight, keep the tilt very small.

Now bring back the movements from our earlier lessons. Make five slow nods: let the chin move a little down toward the chest as you breathe out, and bring it back to level as you breathe in, without letting the head drop back. Then turn the head slowly to the right as you breathe out, only as far as feels easy, return to the middle as you breathe in, and turn to the left on the next breath out. Repeat three times to each side. Then rock once more on the sitting bones, a few small movements from side to side and forward and back, and settle in the middle again. Let the hands rest on the thighs and take two quiet breaths.

Minutes 21 to 27: Stillness. Now we change from sitting forward to resting back. Slide your hips back on the seat until they are close to the chair back. If there is a gap behind your lower back, place the rolled towel there. Lean back slowly and let the chair take the weight of your back, from the lower back upward. Let the feet stay flat, the hands rest on the thighs or in the lap, and the head stay balanced, or rest it against the wall or the top of the chair back if it is high enough. Close your eyes or let them look softly at the floor. For these seven minutes there is nothing to do. Feel the places where the body is supported: the floor under the feet, the seat under the sitting bones, the chair behind the back. With each breath out, let a little more weight sink into those supports. When your mind wanders, as it will, gently bring it back to the feeling of being held by the chair.

Minutes 28 to 30: Closing. Let the breath become a little fuller for two or three breaths. Move the fingers and toes slowly. Open your eyes if they were closed and look around the dim room. Slide forward on the seat, place the feet firmly on the floor and, when you feel ready, stand up slowly, using the chair or the wall for support if you wish. Drink a little water if you would like. Then go to bed, keeping the lights low. When you lie down, notice the bed under you as you noticed the chair: something that holds you, so that you do not need to hold yourself.

Common Questions

A common question is: "My back starts to ache after a few minutes of sitting tall. Am I doing it wrong?" Usually it means that you are holding the posture with too much effort or for too long. Let go of some of the lift, lean back against the chair with the rolled towel for a while, and then come forward again. If the ache is sharp or stays with you, stop sitting tall for tonight and simply rest against the chair back. If you are unsure whether a movement suits you, ask a doctor.

Another question is: "My feet do not touch the floor, and I do not have a block." Look around your home for something firm and flat that will not slip: a folded blanket, a firm cushion, or two thick books stacked evenly. Place it so that both feet rest on it completely, not only the toes. The aim is that the feet feel supported and the knees are about over the ankles. Taller people sometimes have the opposite problem, with the knees rising high on a low chair; for them a firm cushion on the seat usually helps.

Some of you ask whether it is all right to lean back for the whole practice. On a tired evening, yes. All the breathing and the neck movements we did tonight can be done while leaning against the chair back with the towel behind you; only the rocking on the sitting bones needs you to sit forward a little, and you may leave it out. Resting is always a full part of the practice. It is better to practise gently while supported than to skip the evening because you feel too tired to sit up.

Finally, people often ask whether they should sit this way all day, at work or at the table. You can certainly visit the seat during the day. When you notice that you are slumped or stiff, place the feet flat, find the sitting bones, let the spine grow long and the shoulders soften, and take one long breath out. Then let it go and carry on. A few short visits, many times a day, are more helpful than trying to hold a perfect posture for hours.

Summary

A good seat is built from the ground up: both feet flat on the floor, the knees about over the ankles, and the weight resting on the two sitting bones.

The spine is long but not stiff. Imagine a light lift at the top of the head while the sitting bones stay heavy; if you start holding your breath or pushing the chest forward, let go a little.

The head is balanced over the shoulders, with the chin level and slightly back, and the shoulders rest soft and wide, away from the ears.

Small rocking from side to side and forward and back helps you find the middle of the sitting bones, where the pelvis stands upright.

Props make an ordinary chair fit your body: a folded blanket or a firm block under the feet, a firm cushion on a low seat, and a rolled towel behind the lower back.

We sit forward when we move and lean back against the chair when we rest. Both ways are correct.

A good posture is visited, not held. Sit well for a short time, rest often, and return to the seat again and again.