Chapter 5: Neck, Shoulders and Jaw

Tonight's Lesson

Tonight, start by sitting in the seat we built together in our last lesson. Place your feet flat on the floor, find the two sitting bones, let the spine grow long and the shoulders soften. Then take one slow breath in and a slightly longer breath out. You already know these steps, and you may notice that they take less time than they did a few evenings ago. That is how a practice becomes a habit: a little at a time.

Tonight we move up the body to three places where the day often leaves its marks: the neck, the shoulders and the jaw. Many beginners are surprised to discover how much effort they carry there without knowing it. The shoulders creep up toward the ears, the head leans toward a screen, the teeth press together while we concentrate. By the evening these small efforts have added up, and they can make it hard for the body to feel that it is time to rest.

In the lecture I will explain why tension gathers in these places, which neck movements are safe and which ones we always avoid, and how to let go of the shoulders, the jaw, the face and the eyes. In the practice we will follow a neck sequence, a shoulder sequence and a gentle release of the jaw and face, and then we will sit quietly, noticing the face and the shoulders as the breath slows down.

Where the Day Gathers

Think for a moment about an ordinary day. Many of us spend hours looking down at a phone, forward at a computer, or down at a desk, a sink or a stove. The head is heavy, and when it leans forward, the muscles at the back of the neck and across the top of the shoulders hold it up for as long as we stay in that position. Carrying adds to this: a bag on one shoulder, shopping in both hands, a child on one hip. Each of these tasks asks the same muscles to work, often more on one side than the other.

Worry and hurry add their own share. When we feel rushed or tense, the body prepares to act. The shoulders rise a little, the breath becomes higher and shorter, and the jaw tightens. This is a natural response, and for a short time it does no harm. But if the day keeps us busy from morning to evening, the shoulders may simply stay up, and the jaw may stay tight, long after the reason has passed. Most people only notice it when they let go and feel the shoulders drop, sometimes by a surprising distance.

The neck is the top part of the spine. It is made of small bones stacked one on another, and it carries the head and lets it move in several directions. It can nod down and up, turn to the right and left, and tilt an ear toward a shoulder. Because it moves so freely and carries so much weight, it likes movements that are slow, small and comfortable. In this course we use only three neck movements: slow nods, turning the head from side to side, and tilting an ear toward the shoulder. Each one stays in the easy middle part of the range, and each one moves with the breath.

There are also movements that we never do, and I would like you to remember them clearly. We never drop the head far back to look at the ceiling, because this presses the bones at the back of the neck together and can make some people feel dizzy. We never make fast circles with the head, and we never bounce or jerk it. We never pull the head with the hands to make a stretch stronger. If any neck movement causes pain, tingling in the arms or hands, numbness or dizziness, stop at once, bring the head slowly back to the middle and rest. If you are unsure whether a movement suits you, ask a doctor.

The shoulders respond well to a simple pair of actions: a shrug and a release. In a shrug we lift the shoulders on purpose toward the ears, hold them there for a moment, and then let them drop. Lifting them first may seem strange when we want them to come down, but it helps the body feel the difference between working and resting. The muscles that were tight without our knowing become tight on purpose, and when we let go, they often soften more easily than if we had simply told them to relax.

The shoulder roll, which you learned in the first lesson, moves the shoulders in a slow circle, and it gently moves the shoulder blades on the back as well. Tonight we will also make small circles with the elbows while the fingertips rest on the shoulders. This movement lets the whole shoulder turn without lifting the arms high, and it opens the front of the chest, which often closes in while we lean over our work. All these movements are done slowly, and none of them needs to be big. A small circle that feels pleasant is worth more than a large one that strains.

The Jaw, the Face and the Eyes

The jaw has some of the strongest muscles in the body. We use them to chew and to speak, but we also tighten them without thinking when we concentrate, when we are worried, or when we are holding back words. You can feel these muscles yourself. Place your fingertips on your cheeks, just in front of the ears, and gently press your teeth together; you will feel the muscle become firm under your fingers. Let the teeth part, and it softens. Some people also press their teeth together or grind them at night, and a relaxed jaw in the evening is a kind way to prepare for the night.

A relaxed jaw has a simple shape. The lips are gently closed, the upper and lower teeth are a little apart, and the tongue rests softly in the mouth, perhaps with its tip lightly touching the back of the upper front teeth. The breath can still move easily through the nose. If you find your teeth touching during the day or in the evening, simply let them part and return to this shape. In the practice we will also open the mouth slowly a little way, and massage the jaw muscles in small circles with the fingertips.

The face holds tension too, mostly around the forehead and the eyes. When we read, look at a screen or think hard, the forehead often wrinkles and the skin between the eyebrows draws together. We may keep this expression long after we have stopped thinking about the problem. Letting the forehead become smooth, the eyebrows wide and the cheeks soft is a small change that the rest of the body seems to notice. A soft face and a slow breath often arrive together.

The eyes deserve a word of their own. All day they focus on things that are close, such as screens, pages and small print, and focusing near is quiet but steady work for the muscles around the eyes. Softening the eyes means letting that work end. The eyelids become heavy, the gaze rests without looking for anything, and if the eyes are open they look at nothing in particular, a little down toward the floor. A pleasant way to help this is to rub the palms together until they feel warm and then rest them lightly over the closed eyes, without pressing on the eyes themselves.

Why does all this matter for sleep? When the shoulders stay high, the jaw stays tight and the forehead stays drawn, the body is still holding a little of the day's alertness. Letting these places go is one of the ways we tell the body that the busy part of the day has finished and the resting part has begun. This is not something we force. We simply give the shoulders, the jaw and the eyes a chance to soften, many evenings in a row, and over time the body learns the way to rest more easily.

The Thirty-Minute Practice

Prepare your chair as usual: sturdy, without wheels, on a floor that does not slip, ideally with its back against a wall, and with your props near you if you use them. Dim the lights, wear comfortable clothes with nothing tight around the neck, and keep a glass of water nearby. Please remember the rule of comfort tonight especially, since we are working with the neck: if you feel pain, dizziness, tingling or shortness of breath, stop, bring the head slowly back to the middle, rest and breathe normally. Every movement is slow, and every movement ends slowly.

Minutes 1 to 3: Arriving. Sit down and build your seat: feet flat, knees about over the ankles, the weight on the sitting bones, the spine long, the head balanced and the hands resting on the thighs. Close your eyes or let them rest on the floor in front of you. Notice the neck and shoulders without changing anything. Are the shoulders at the same height? Is the head leaning forward a little? Are the teeth touching? Simply notice, the way we noticed the breath in our third lesson.

Minutes 4 to 8: Breathing. Rest one hand on your belly and the other on the side of your ribs. Breathe in through the nose and feel the belly and ribs widen; breathe out and feel them settle. After a few natural breaths, let the breath out become a little longer than the breath in, counting softly in for four and out for six, or shorter if that is easier. Tonight, add one small thing: on every breath out, let the shoulders become a little heavier, as if they were sinking toward the hands. If counting makes you tense, let it go and simply breathe slowly. Continue for about five minutes.

Minutes 9 to 20: Moving. We begin with the neck sequence. Sit tall but soft, hands on the thighs. First, five slow nods: breathe out and let the chin move a little down toward the chest; breathe in and bring the head back up to level, no further. Next, turn the head: breathe out and turn slowly to the right, only as far as is easy, with the chin level; breathe in and return to the middle; breathe out and turn to the left; breathe in and return. Do this three times to each side. Then the ear-to-shoulder tilt from our last lesson: breathe out and let the right ear move toward the right shoulder, keeping the shoulder down, and stay for three slow breaths; breathe in and come slowly back to the middle; then the left side for three breaths. Rest in the middle for two breaths.

Now the shoulder sequence. Let the arms hang by your sides or rest the hands on the thighs. Breathe in and lift both shoulders slowly toward the ears, as high as feels comfortable. Hold them there for a moment, without holding the breath. Then breathe out through the nose and let the shoulders drop, all at once, and let them keep sinking for a moment afterward. Do this shrug and release five times, slowly, resting for one breath between each one. Then roll the shoulders: lift them up, take them back, let them drop down, and bring them forward, in a slow circle, three times. Then three slow circles in the other direction, up, forward, down and back.

Next, the elbow circles. Bend the elbows and rest your fingertips lightly on the tops of your shoulders, the right hand on the right shoulder and the left hand on the left. If this is uncomfortable, rest the hands on the thighs instead and roll only the shoulders. With the fingertips in place, bring the elbows toward each other in front of the chest, then lift them a little, take them out to the sides and back, and let them come down, drawing a slow circle with each elbow. Breathe in as the elbows rise and open, and breathe out as they come down and forward. Make four circles in one direction and four in the other, keeping them as small as you like. Then lower the arms slowly and rest the hands on the thighs.

Now the jaw and face release. Let the teeth part and the tongue rest softly. Place your fingertips on your cheeks just in front of the ears, where you felt the jaw muscle in tonight's lesson. Make slow, small circles there, with light pressure, for about five breaths. Then lower the hands. Breathe in through the nose, and as you breathe out, let the mouth open slowly a little way, as in a quiet yawn, and then close it gently. Do this three times. If a real yawn comes, let it come. Then rest your fingertips in the middle of the forehead and slide them slowly outward toward the temples, smoothing the skin, three times. Let the eyebrows be wide and the cheeks soft.

Finally, the eyes. Rub the palms of your hands together for a few breaths until they feel warm. Close your eyes and rest the palms lightly over them, the fingers on the forehead and the base of the hands on the cheeks, without pressing on the eyes themselves. Keep the elbows low and close to the body so that the arms do not tire. Stay for five slow breaths, enjoying the warmth and the darkness. Then lower the hands slowly to the thighs and keep the eyes closed for a moment before you open them, softly, looking toward the floor.

Minutes 21 to 27: Stillness. Slide back on the seat and lean against the chair back, with the rolled towel behind the lower back if you use it. Let the feet stay flat and the hands rest in the lap. Close the eyes or let them look softly at the floor. For these seven minutes, let your attention move slowly between three places. First the shoulders: notice how they rest now, and on each breath out let them be a little heavier. Then the jaw: notice whether the teeth are apart and the tongue soft. Then the face: the forehead smooth, the eyes resting. When you find a little tension again, there is no need to fight it; simply notice it and let the next breath out soften it. When the mind wanders, gently bring it back to the face and shoulders.

Minutes 28 to 30: Closing. Let the breath become a little fuller for two or three breaths. Move the fingers and toes. Slowly nod the head once, a small nod, and bring it back to level. Open your eyes, sit forward and place the feet firmly on the floor. When you are ready, stand up slowly, holding the chair or the wall if you wish, and drink a little water. Go to bed with the lights low. When you lie down, notice your shoulders and jaw once more, and let them soften against the pillow and the bed.

Common Questions

A common question is: "My neck makes small clicking sounds when I turn my head. Should I stop?" Small, painless sounds when the neck moves are common, and many people hear them. Keep the movements slow and small, and do not try to make the sound happen on purpose. If a sound comes with pain, or if the neck feels sore after the practice, make the movements smaller next time or leave them out and keep only the shoulder movements. If you are unsure whether a movement suits you, ask a doctor.

Another question is: "One side of my neck feels much tighter than the other. Should I stretch that side more?" It is very usual for the two sides to feel different, because we often carry, turn and lean more to one side. We still do the same number of breaths on both sides and stay within the comfortable range on each. The tighter side may simply move less. Over many evenings the two sides often begin to feel more alike, but we do not push to make that happen.

Some of you ask: "I think I clench my teeth at night. Will this practice stop it?" The practice cannot promise that, but relaxing the jaw in the evening gives the night a gentler start. You can also check the jaw several times during the day, letting the teeth part whenever you notice them touching. If your jaw is sore in the mornings, or your teeth feel worn, please talk to a dentist or a doctor, who can look at it properly.

Finally, what if your shoulders are so tense that the movements feel stiff and awkward? Then make them smaller and slower. Even a shrug that lifts the shoulders only a little, followed by a slow release, is the whole movement. On a very tired evening you can leave out the elbow circles and simply do the shrugs, the warm palms over the eyes and the stillness. That is still a complete evening of practice.

Summary

The neck, the shoulders and the jaw often collect the day's effort from screens, carrying, hurry and worry, usually without our noticing.

We use only three neck movements: slow nods, turning the head from side to side, and tilting an ear toward the shoulder, all slow, small and moving with the breath.

We never drop the head far back, never make fast circles with the head, and never pull the head with the hands. At pain, tingling or dizziness, we stop and rest.

A shrug and release lets the shoulders feel the difference between working and resting, and shoulder rolls and elbow circles move them gently in all directions.

A relaxed jaw has the lips gently closed, the teeth a little apart and the tongue soft; small circles with the fingertips and a slow, quiet opening of the mouth help it let go.

A smooth forehead and soft eyes, helped by warm palms resting over the closed eyes, tell the body that the busy part of the day is over.