Chapter 3: The Breath as a Bridge to Rest

Tonight's Lesson

Let us begin tonight by simply sitting down. Take your chair, check that it stands firmly, and let your feet rest flat on the floor. Last time we talked about sleep: the body clock and light, the sleepiness that builds up through the day, the stages of the night, and the two modes of the body, the busy mode and the resting mode. We saw that the hour before bed is a time of change, when we can invite the body to slow down. At the end of the practice, we tried letting the breath out become a little longer than the breath in.

Tonight the whole lesson is about the breath. Breathing is something we do all day and all night without thinking about it, and yet it is also something we can gently guide when we choose to. This makes the breath a kind of bridge. On one side is the part of us that works by itself; on the other side is the part of us that we can direct with attention. When we breathe slowly and calmly on purpose, the body tends to follow, and the busy mode begins to give way to the resting mode. That is why I call the breath a bridge to rest.

First I will explain how breathing works: the muscle under the lungs called the diaphragm, the movement of the belly and the ribs, and the role of the nose. Then I will explain how to notice the breath without changing it, how to let the breath out become slightly longer, and how to count the breath in a soft, simple way. I will also explain what we never do, and what to do if counting makes you tense. In tonight's practice, the breathing part will be a little longer than usual, and the movements will follow the rhythm of the breath.

How Breathing Works

Your lungs sit inside your chest, protected by the ribs. The lungs themselves have no muscles that pull air in. The work is done mainly by a large, thin muscle called the diaphragm. The diaphragm lies across the inside of the body, under the lungs and above the stomach, and it is shaped a little like a dome or an upturned bowl. When you breathe in, the diaphragm tightens and moves downward, so that the dome becomes flatter. This makes more room in the chest, and air flows into the lungs. When you breathe out, the diaphragm relaxes and rises again, and the air flows out.

Because the diaphragm moves downward when you breathe in, it gently presses on the organs below it. They have to make room, so the belly moves softly outward. When you breathe out and the diaphragm rises, the belly moves softly back in. At the same time, the lower ribs move a little outward to the sides and toward the back as you breathe in, and back in as you breathe out, a little like the handle of a bucket lifting and lowering. In calm, easy breathing, you can feel the belly and the lower ribs moving together in this gentle way.

When we are in the busy mode, the breathing often changes. It tends to become quicker and to move higher in the chest, with the shoulders lifting a little on each breath in. Many of us also breathe like this when we are sitting bent over a desk or a screen, or when we are worried, without noticing it. There is nothing wrong with breathing in the upper chest now and then; it is part of how the body prepares for action. But in the evening, when we want to rest, it is helpful to let the breath settle lower again, into the belly and the lower ribs, where it can move slowly and easily.

Whenever it is comfortable, we breathe in and out through the nose. The nose warms the air, makes it a little moister, and filters some of the dust before the air reaches the lungs. Breathing through the nose also tends to make the breath slower and smoother, because the air passes through a narrower way than through an open mouth. If your nose is blocked, for example because of a cold, it is perfectly fine to breathe through the mouth, with the lips soft and slightly open. Comfort always comes first.

The first skill in this lesson is noticing the breath without changing it. This is harder than it sounds. As soon as we pay attention to the breath, we often start to control it, making it bigger or slower without meaning to. Try instead to watch it as you might watch waves arriving at the shore: one after another, each a little different, none of them right or wrong. Notice where you feel the breath, how long the breath in and the breath out seem to be, and whether there is a small pause between them. This quiet noticing is the first step of every breathing part in this course.

A Slightly Longer Breath Out

Once you can notice the breath, you can begin to guide it very gently. The simplest guide, and the one we use most in this course, is a breath out that is slightly longer than the breath in. Breathing in is linked with the body becoming a little more alert, and breathing out is linked with the body letting go. The heart even speeds up a tiny amount as we breathe in and slows a tiny amount as we breathe out. When the breath out becomes a little longer and slower, many people feel calmer, and the body moves more easily toward the resting mode.

To make this simple, we can count. Breathe in through the nose while counting slowly and silently, "one, two, three, four". Then breathe out, slowly and smoothly, while counting "one, two, three, four, five, six". Then let the next breath in begin by itself. The counts are not seconds measured by a clock; they are simply a soft, steady rhythm in your mind. If four and six feel too long for you, use a shorter count, such as in for three and out for four, or in for two and out for three. The right count is the one that feels easy. What matters is not the numbers but the feeling of a calm, unhurried breath out.

There are a few things we never do in this course. We never hold the breath until it becomes uncomfortable. We never breathe forcefully, never pump the belly hard, and never breathe fast on purpose. We never squeeze the last bit of air out of the lungs. Some breathing techniques that use force or speed are meant to wake the body up, which is the opposite of what we want in the evening, and they are not safe to learn from words alone. Our breathing is always gentle. If at any moment you feel dizzy, light-headed or short of breath, stop guiding the breath, let it return to its natural rhythm, and rest.

A common question is: "What if counting makes me tense?" For some people, counting feels like a task to get right, and they begin to worry about whether they are doing it properly. If this happens to you, simply stop counting. Breathe naturally and let your attention rest on the feeling of the breath out, perhaps imagining that each breath out is a little softer than the one before. You can also say a quiet word in your mind instead of numbers, such as "in" as you breathe in and "out" as you breathe out. There is no single correct method. The aim is ease, and anything that brings ease is the right choice for you.

It also helps to know what the breath out should feel like. It should feel like a gentle release, like a quiet sigh without sound. The belly moves softly in, the ribs settle, and the shoulders stay soft and low. At the end of the breath out, there may be a short, natural pause before the next breath in begins. You do not need to make this pause longer; just notice it if it is there. Over the coming evenings, you may find that the breath settles into this rhythm more easily, almost by itself, as soon as you sit down in your chair.

The Thirty-Minute Practice

Prepare your space as before: the sturdy chair on a non-slip floor, with its back against the wall if possible, your feet flat on the floor or on a firm block, one soft lamp, soft clothes and a glass of water within reach. Tonight the breathing part is a little longer, about seven minutes, and the moving part is a little shorter, so the whole practice still lasts thirty minutes. As always, if you feel pain, dizziness or shortness of breath, stop, rest and let your breath return to normal, and come out of any movement slowly.

Minutes 1 to 3: Arriving. Sit a little toward the front of the seat, with your feet flat on the floor about as wide apart as your hips and your hands resting on your thighs. Close your eyes, or let them look softly at the floor in front of you. Feel the seat under you and your feet on the floor. Let your shoulders drop and your face soften. Now begin to notice your breath, without changing it: the air at your nose, the gentle movement of your body. Simply sit and arrive for about three minutes.

Minutes 4 to 10: Breathing. Place one hand on your belly, just below the navel, and the other hand on the side of your lower ribs. Keep your shoulders soft and your elbows relaxed. For the first two minutes, simply notice your natural breath under your hands: the belly moving softly out as you breathe in and softly in as you breathe out, the ribs widening a little to the side and settling again. Do not push the belly out or pull it in; let the hands only feel. If you notice that the breath is mainly in the upper chest, that is fine. Just keep your attention on your hands, and let the breath find its own way lower if it wants to.

Now begin the longer breath out. Breathe in through the nose for a soft count of four, feeling your hands move gently outward. Breathe out slowly for a soft count of six, feeling your hands move gently back in. If these counts are too long, use in for three and out for four, or any count that is easy. Let the next breath in begin by itself; do not hold the breath. Continue like this for about four minutes. If counting makes you tense, let the numbers go and simply feel each breath out becoming a little softer. In the last minute of this part, let your hands rest on your thighs and stop counting. Notice how your breath feels now.

Minutes 11 to 20: Moving. Tonight every movement follows the breath. Begin by sitting tall: feel your weight on both sitting bones, and as you breathe in, let your back grow a little longer, as if the top of your head were being lifted gently. As you breathe out, let your shoulders soften down. Take four breaths like this. Then do shoulder shrugs with the breath. As you breathe in, slowly lift both shoulders up toward your ears. As you breathe out, slowly let them fall back down, and let the breath out be long and easy, like a quiet sigh. Do this six times. Then do five slow shoulder rolls in each direction, breathing in as the shoulders rise and breathing out as they move back and down. Let the shoulders rest. This takes about three minutes.

Next, the arm lift to the front. Let your arms hang loosely by your sides. As you breathe in, slowly lift both arms forward and up, with the elbows soft and the palms facing down, only as high as is comfortable; shoulder height is enough, and lower is fine. As you breathe out, slowly lower the arms back down by your sides, taking the whole breath out to bring them down. Keep your shoulders low and your back long. If one arm or shoulder feels uncomfortable, lift only the other arm, or lift both arms only a little. Repeat this about six times, slowly, letting the breath set the speed. Then rest your hands on your thighs for two breaths. This takes about two minutes.

Now the arms open to the sides. Bring your hands together in front of your chest, palms touching lightly or simply close to each other, with the elbows soft and low. As you breathe in, slowly open your arms out to the sides, as if you were opening a pair of curtains, keeping the arms at about the height of your chest or lower, and feel the front of your chest widen a little. Do not pull the arms back hard. As you breathe out, slowly bring the hands back together in front of your chest. Repeat about six times. Then lower your hands to your thighs and rest for a few breaths, noticing your chest and shoulders. This takes about two minutes.

Finish the moving part with the slow nods and the head turns from our earlier lessons, each timed with the breath. As you breathe out, lower your chin a little toward your chest; as you breathe in, lift your head back to the middle. Do this four times, never letting the head drop back. Then, as you breathe out, slowly turn your head to the right, only as far as is comfortable; as you breathe in, return to the middle; as you breathe out, turn to the left; as you breathe in, return to the middle. Do this three times to each side. Then rest your hands on your thighs, palms up, with your head balanced in the middle. This takes about three minutes.

Minutes 21 to 27: Stillness. Slide back in the seat so that your back rests against the chair back, if that is comfortable, with your feet flat on the floor. Place one hand on your belly again and let the other rest on your thigh, or let both hands rest on your thighs. Close your eyes or let them rest on the floor. Let the breath be natural. Tonight we rest our attention on the breath out. Each time you breathe out, notice the soft release in the belly and the shoulders. You may silently say "soft" or "rest" on each breath out. When the mind wanders, notice it kindly and come back to the next breath out. Stay for about seven minutes.

Minutes 28 to 30: Closing. Let your hands rest on your thighs. Take two or three breaths that are a little fuller, and then let the breath return to normal. Gently move your fingers and toes, and open your eyes slowly. Take a sip of water if you like. Lean slightly forward, press your feet into the floor and stand up slowly; if you feel dizzy, sit down again and wait. Turn off the lamp and walk calmly to bed. When you lie down, you may place one hand on your belly and take a few longer breaths out, just as you did in the chair, and then let the breath go on by itself.

Common Questions

A common question is: "My belly hardly moves when I breathe. Am I breathing wrongly?" No. Breathing differs from person to person, and it changes with the position of the body, with clothing and with the mood of the day. Tight clothing around the waist can stop the belly from moving freely, so loosen anything that presses there. Sitting tall, but not stiffly, also gives the diaphragm more room. Simply keep noticing with your hands, without forcing the belly to move. Over time, the breath often settles lower by itself.

Another question is: "Sometimes I yawn or sigh a lot during the breathing part. Is that a problem?" Not at all. Yawning and sighing are natural ways the body lets go of tension, and they often come when the body begins to relax. Let them happen, and then return to your gentle rhythm. If you feel light-headed, however, it may mean that you are breathing more deeply than you need. In that case, stop guiding the breath, let it become natural and quiet, and rest.

People also ask: "Can I use this breathing at other times of day?" Yes. A few slow breaths with a slightly longer breath out can be helpful whenever you would like to feel a little calmer: before a difficult conversation, while waiting, or after a busy moment. You can do it sitting at a desk or on a bus without anyone noticing. Please keep it gentle and short, and always return to natural breathing if anything feels uncomfortable.

Finally, some people ask: "What if my nose is blocked tonight?" Then breathe through your mouth, with the lips soft and slightly open, and keep the breath slow and easy. You can still let the breath out be a little longer than the breath in. If breathing feels difficult in any way, leave out the counting and simply rest. On such evenings, a shorter practice with more stillness is perfectly fine.

Summary

The breath works by itself, yet we can also guide it gently. This makes it a bridge from the busy mode toward the resting mode in the hour before bed.

The diaphragm is a dome-shaped muscle under the lungs. When we breathe in, it moves down and the belly and lower ribs move softly outward; when we breathe out, it rises and they move back in.

Breathe through the nose when it is comfortable. The nose warms and filters the air and helps the breath become slow and smooth; if the nose is blocked, breathe gently through the mouth.

Begin by noticing the breath without changing it, like watching waves arrive one after another. Then let the breath out become slightly longer than the breath in.

Counting can help: in for four and out for six, or a shorter count such as in for three and out for four. If counting makes you tense, stop counting and simply feel each breath out becoming softer.

Never hold the breath until it is uncomfortable, and never breathe forcefully or fast. If you feel dizzy or short of breath, let the breath return to normal and rest.

Tonight the movements followed the breath: shoulder shrugs and rolls, the arms lifting to the front and opening to the sides, and slow nods and head turns, each one slow and only as far as is comfortable.