Chapter 9: Learning to Pay Attention

Tonight's Lesson

Please come in and find your chair. Tonight is a turning point in our course. For eight evenings we have learned to arrive, to breathe with a longer breath out, to sit well and to move the body gently, from the neck and shoulders down through the spine to the hips, legs and feet, and last time to the hands and arms. In every practice we also had a few minutes of stillness at the end. Tonight we look more closely at what happens in those quiet minutes, and we begin to learn meditation.

The word meditation may sound unfamiliar, difficult or even a little mysterious. Some of you may imagine a person sitting perfectly still with an empty mind for hours. Please put that picture aside. Tonight I would like to explain meditation in simple, practical terms: what it is, what it is not, and how we can practise it in a chair for a few minutes each evening. You will see that it is something every one of you can do, starting tonight, exactly as you are.

Meditation matters for sleep because the hour before bed is often the time when the mind is busiest. The body may be tired, but the mind keeps jumping from one thought to the next: a conversation from the afternoon, a task for tomorrow, a small worry. Tonight's practice is a little different from earlier ones. The moving part will be shorter, a gentle review of what you already know, and the stillness will be longer, so that we have time to practise paying attention to the breath.

What Meditation Is

Let us begin with a few words about where meditation comes from. Meditation is found in many traditions around the world, some of them religious and some not. Yoga itself grew over many centuries within spiritual and philosophical traditions, and meditation has long been part of it. These traditions deserve respect. In this course, however, we use meditation simply as a practice for the body and the mind, and no belief of any kind is needed. You can practise it whatever your views are, and you do not need to accept any idea in order to benefit from sitting quietly and paying attention.

In the simplest terms, meditation is training attention. Attention is our ability to place the mind on something and to keep it there for a while. During the day, our attention is pulled in many directions at once: by screens, by sounds, by other people and by our own thoughts. Meditation gives attention one simple thing to rest on, and then gently brings it back each time it moves away. Like any skill, attention grows with practice. Just as a beginner learns to play a simple tune slowly before anything else, we learn to rest our attention for a few breaths at a time.

It is just as important to understand what meditation is not. It is not emptying the mind of all thoughts; thoughts will come, and that is normal. It is not forcing yourself to feel calm, and it is not a test you can pass or fail. It is not about sitting in a special position on the floor. In this course, you meditate sitting in your sturdy chair, with your feet on the floor, your back long and supported, and your hands resting on your thighs. The only thing you need to bring is a little willingness to notice what is happening, moment by moment.

To train attention, we need something to place it on. We call this an anchor. An anchor holds a boat in place even when the water moves, and in the same way, an anchor for attention gives the mind a place to return to when it drifts. In this course, our main anchor is the breath, because it is always with us and because we have already been paying attention to it every evening. Other anchors can be sounds, such as the quiet hum of the room or a distant noise outside, or the feeling of your body on the chair: the weight of your sitting bones on the seat, your back against the chair back and your feet on the floor.

Why does training attention help with sleep? When the mind is left to itself at night, it often follows one thought into another, and each thought can wake the body up a little more. A worry about tomorrow, for example, can make the heart beat a little faster and the breath a little shorter, as we discussed when we talked about the body's busy and resting modes. When we practise placing attention on something simple and calm, such as the breath, the mind has less fuel for that chain of thoughts. Over time, many people find that they can step out of the chain more easily, and that the body follows the mind toward rest.

The Wandering Mind and the Way Back

Here is the most important thing I will tell you tonight: your mind will wander. You will sit down, place your attention on the breath, and after a few breaths, or perhaps after only one, you will find yourself thinking about something else. This happens to everyone who meditates, including people who have practised for many years. A wandering mind is not a sign that you are doing it wrong. It is simply what minds do. The practice is not to stop the mind from wandering, but to notice when it has wandered and to bring it back.

The moment you notice that your mind has wandered is a very valuable moment. In that moment, you are aware again; you have woken up from the thought. Many beginners respond to this moment by feeling annoyed with themselves. Please try to do the opposite. When you notice that your mind has wandered, you can say quietly to yourself, "Thinking," and then return kindly to the breath, the way you might guide a small child back to the path without scolding. Each return is like one gentle movement of a muscle. The more often you return, the more you practise.

Tonight we will use a simple method to help the mind stay with the breath: counting breaths. Breathe naturally, without trying to make the breath longer. Each time you breathe out, count one number silently: the first breath out is one, the next breath out is two, and so on, up to ten. When you reach ten, start again at one. If you lose count, or if you notice that you have counted past ten without realising it, simply start again at one. There is no score. Starting again at one is not a failure; it is the practice working exactly as it should.

You may meditate with your eyes closed or open. Many people find it easier to rest their attention with the eyes gently closed. Others feel more comfortable and more awake with the eyes open. If you keep them open, let your gaze rest softly on the floor a little way in front of your feet, without looking at anything in particular. A soft gaze means that the eyes are relaxed and not searching. Both ways are correct, and you may change from one to the other during the practice if you wish.

Because we practise in the evening, you may feel sleepy during the stillness, and that is completely understandable. In the chair, it is best to stay gently awake, so that you do not slump or slip. If you notice that you are nodding off, sit a little taller, let the chair back support you, and open your eyes with a soft gaze for a few breaths. Then, when you lie down in bed after the practice, you are free to let go completely. Think of the chair as the place where we train attention, and the bed as the place where we let sleep come.

The Thirty-Minute Practice

Before we begin, prepare your space. Place your sturdy chair, without wheels, on a non-slip floor, ideally with its back against a wall. Wear comfortable clothes, keep a glass of water nearby, and turn the lights down to a soft glow. If you like, keep a warm shawl or a light blanket by the chair, because the body can cool a little during a longer stillness. Tonight the parts change slightly: the moving part takes about eight minutes and the stillness about eleven. As always, if you feel pain, dizziness or shortness of breath, stop, rest and breathe normally, and come out of every movement slowly.

Minutes 1 to 3: Arriving. Sit down and let the chair hold you. Place your feet flat on the floor, about as wide apart as your hips. Let your weight rest evenly on your sitting bones, and let your back be long and supported by the chair back if you wish. Rest your hands on your thighs. Close your eyes, or let them rest softly on the floor. Notice three things: the floor under your feet, the seat under you and the air on your face. Let yourself arrive.

Minutes 4 to 8: Breathing. Place one hand on your belly and the other on the side of your ribs. Breathe through your nose if that is comfortable, and feel the gentle movement of the belly and ribs. After a few natural breaths, let the breath out become a little longer: in for a count of four, out for a count of six, or in for three and out for four if that is easier. Never hold the breath. Continue for about ten rounds. Then let the counting go, rest your hands on your thighs, and simply notice the breath as it is, without changing it, for the remaining minute or two. This is a first taste of tonight's meditation.

Minutes 9 to 16: Moving. Tonight the movements are a short review, so move slowly and simply. Sit tall. Roll your shoulders slowly up, back and down, five times. Then nod your head gently, bringing the chin a little down and back to the middle, three times, and turn your head slowly to the right and the left, three times on each side, only as far as is comfortable. Rest your hands on your thighs and take one quiet breath.

Now the spine. Take five slow rounds of seated cat and cow: as you breathe in, let the chest lift and the belly move gently forward; as you breathe out, let the back round softly and the chin come a little toward the chest. Return to sitting tall. Then, for a seated side bend, rest your left hand on the seat beside you. As you breathe in, lift your right arm out to the side and up, only as high as is comfortable. As you breathe out, lean gently to the left, keeping both sitting bones on the seat. Stay for three breaths, come back to the middle slowly as you breathe in, lower the arm and repeat on the other side.

Now the lower body and the hands. Move your hips a little forward from the chair back, keeping your thighs supported. March your knees slowly, lifting each foot a little from the floor and placing it down again, five times on each side. Then circle each ankle five times in each direction. Finally, rest your hands on your thighs and open and close them slowly, five times, opening as you breathe in and closing softly as you breathe out. Move back so that the chair back supports you, place both feet flat and rest your hands on your thighs.

Minutes 17 to 27: Stillness. Let your eyes close, or let your gaze rest softly on the floor a little way in front of your feet. Take a moment to settle. Feel the weight of your body on the chair, your feet on the floor and your hands resting on your thighs. Let the breath be natural; there is no need to make it longer now. Bring your attention to the place where you feel the breath most clearly. For some people this is the belly rising and falling, for others the ribs widening, and for others the air passing gently through the nostrils. Choose one place and let your attention rest there.

Now begin counting breaths. Each time you breathe out, count one number silently. Breathe in, and as you breathe out, count "one". Breathe in, and as you breathe out, count "two". Continue in this way up to ten, and then start again at one. Keep the counting soft, like a whisper inside the mind. If you lose count, simply begin again at one. When you notice that your mind has wandered to a thought, a plan or a memory, say quietly to yourself, "Thinking," and come back to the breath and to the number one. Do this as many times as you need, each time with kindness.

If the breath becomes hard to follow, or if focusing on it makes you tense, you may change your anchor. Let your attention rest on sounds, simply hearing them come and go without naming them, or on the feeling of your body on the chair: the sitting bones, the back, the soles of your feet. When you feel settled, you may return to counting breaths, or stay with the new anchor until the end of this part. For the last minute, let the counting go entirely and simply sit, breathing and resting, aware of the quiet room around you.

Minutes 28 to 30: Closing. Let the breath become a little fuller. Gently move your fingers and your toes. Notice how your mind feels now compared with when you sat down; there is no right answer. Slowly open your eyes and let them take in the soft light of the room. Take a sip of water. When you are ready, place your hands on your thighs, lean forward a little and stand up slowly, waiting until you feel steady. Walk to your bed, and when you lie down, you may count a few breaths out, from one to ten, and then let the counting go and let sleep come.

Common Questions

A common question is: "My mind never stopped wandering. I could not get past three. Did I fail?" No. If you noticed that your mind wandered and you came back, even many times, you were meditating. Some evenings the mind will be calm, and on other evenings it will be very busy, especially after a full day. Both kinds of evening are practice. The busy evenings simply give you more chances to come back.

Another question I often hear is: "I fell asleep in the chair during the stillness. Is that bad?" It shows that your body is tired and ready for rest, which is good news for your sleep. For safety and for the practice, though, try to stay gently awake while you sit in the chair. Sit a little taller, open your eyes with a soft gaze, or make the stillness shorter for a while. Then let yourself sleep once you are in bed.

Some of you have asked whether you should sit on the floor with crossed legs to meditate properly. You do not need to. Meditation is about attention, not about a special posture. Sitting in a sturdy chair with your feet on the floor and your back supported is a steady and comfortable way to meditate, and it is the way we practise throughout this course. A comfortable body makes it easier for the mind to settle.

Finally, people sometimes ask how long it takes before meditation starts to help. There is no fixed answer, and it is best not to measure each evening. Simply practise a few minutes each night, as gently as you can. Many people notice, after some weeks, that they come back from wandering thoughts a little sooner, and that the evening feels a little quieter. If closing the eyes makes you feel uneasy, keep them open with a soft gaze; that is just as good.

Summary

Meditation is found in many traditions, religious and not. In this course it is simply a practice for the body and mind, a way of training attention, and no belief is needed.

Meditation is not emptying the mind or forcing calm. It is placing attention on one simple thing, called an anchor, and bringing it back each time it drifts.

Our main anchor is the breath. Sounds and the feeling of the body on the chair are other anchors you can use when the breath is hard to follow.

The mind will wander, and that is normal. The moment you notice it is valuable; say quietly, "Thinking," and return kindly, without blame.

Counting breaths out from one to ten, and starting again at one whenever you lose count, gives the mind a gentle task. There is no score.

You may keep your eyes closed or rest them softly on the floor. Stay gently awake in the chair, and let sleep come once you are in bed.

In our next lesson we will use this same kind attention in a new way. We will move it slowly through the whole body, from the feet to the head, in a practice called the body scan.